Never Say Never Again Read online

  Time to grow up, Maddie. Go back to your real life.

  Not knowing what else to do, she grabbed her phone and touched the number of her only living relative, the one person whose love she could always count on—the grandfather who had raised her.

  “Pap?” she said through the lump building in her throat. “The wedding’s off. I’m coming home to Wyoming.”

  Done with city life. Done with this part of her world. Maddie grabbed her suitcase, changed clothes quickly, and left the chapel and the sounds of shocked guests as Harrison told everyone the wedding was off. Handing her bag to the limo driver, she glanced at the chapel one last time. The decorations, the flowers, the sign announcing the marriage of Maddie Lowry to Harrison McCall—all were burned into her mind forever.

  “Airport,” she choked as the driver held the car door and hesitated.

  “You all right, miss?”

  “Just get me to the airport as quickly as you can.”

  With an understanding nod, he ran around the front of the limo and took his place. One glance in the rearview mirror and they pulled out of the parking lot. Maddie sat back and closed her eyes. Heading on an entirely different journey than she’d begun that morning, she wiped tears from her cheeks.

  When they reached the airport, the driver helped her out, giving her good hand a sympathetic squeeze. Maddie thanked him, checked her bag, and somehow made her way down the concourse. As she waited to board, her mind zinged in a thousand directions.

  Poor Harrison. In spite of her bitterness, her heart ached for him. His sexuality explained so many things. If only she’d known—if only he’d trusted her, so much heartache for both of them could have been avoided. He must have struggled, through the years, never feeling free. An actor in a drama not of his own making. The part of her that still loved him hoped he found what he was looking for in his life. The part of her that stung from his betrayal hardened her as Maddie concentrated on the future without him. Go home, find a job, rebuild her life. And stay the hell away from anything that had a penis.

  Drained, she relaxed against the headrest and gazed out the window. Maddie Mae Lowry had learned two valuable lessons on her earthquake of a wedding day.

  There is no such thing as perfection in an imperfect world.

  And she would never…ever open herself up to such pain again.

  Chapter Two

  Maddie rented a car at the airport in Laramie to make the short trip from town to home. Pap or one of the hands could follow her back tomorrow to make the return. Her old ’63 Chevy pickup should still be in the barn; she’d clean it, check it out, maybe give it an oil change and change the plugs, and she’d be good to go.

  As she drove home on the narrow county road, she let her mind drift over the events of the previous day. Starting over was painful, but the distance and three-hundred-and-sixty-degree difference from the city gave her a sense of closure. The scenery, the people, everything about this part of the world was different. Thank God.

  After graduating college, she’d worked as a special education teacher in urban Boston, but the lessons she’d learned at her grandfather’s knee came tumbling back now as if she’d never left. Being raised on a working ranch, Maddie could handle animals, chores, simple repairs on cars and tractors, and just about anything else that needed fixing.

  Out here, if it needed doing—you did it yourself. Pap called it survival skills, and he’d taught her everything she needed to know to live in the isolated shadow of the Snowy Mountains. If it couldn’t be fixed, it couldn’t be used.

  Driving up to her home, her tightly held control began to crack. She spied the one man who had always been her rock, waiting on the weathered porch, stooped and older but with a grin as wide as the prairie on his face. Pap had always been there for her, always would. Love warmed the glacial wall surrounding her heart. Inhaling a deep breath of love and home, she felt better already.

  “Never again, Pap, never again,” Maddie cried as she ran up the steps and threw herself into her grandfather’s arms.

  Safe and secure, she held tight as she sobbed out her pain, and he rubbed her back with work-gnarled hands. “There, there, baby girl. We’re gonna get through this. You’ll see.”

  “It hurts so bad, Pap.”

  “I know, girl. It’s gonna feel like you landed in a pit of rattlers before it gets better. It’ll take some time, but once the wounds heal, you’ll be ready to move on. You’re home now, and that’s what counts. A few days of Wyoming sun will set you to rights.”

  She started to shake her head in protest, but he wouldn’t let her get away with feeling sorry for herself. “There now. Let it all out, and then we’ll get you settled.”

  “I mean it, Pap. I’ll never put myself in this position again.”

  Pap petted her hair, pushing a strand behind her ear, and wiped the tears from her face with calloused thumbs. “You should never say ‘never,’ girl. Life is funny that way. Whenever you say ‘never again,’ it’s the very thing that comes back to bite you in the end. Your life isn’t over, even if it feels like it is, and when you’re ready, you’ll find someone else to love. When that happens, it’ll be everything you thought it would be with that Harrison fella. I’m glad you came home to lick your wounds, but you’ve got to promise you’ll be open to whatever the future holds when the time is right.”

  So she promised. What else could she do? She lied.

  Besides, it wasn’t as if there was a danger of a truckload of men rushing her door—unless things had changed, there wasn’t anyone in Snowy Range except married ranchers and cocky cowboys. She wasn’t interested in the ranchers, and the cowboys reminded her of Harrison…only straight. Handsome and faithless and just as unavailable for the long term.

  Maddie had come full circle. Wyoming to Boston, college and a career as a special ed teacher, and back to Wyoming. Biting her lip, Maddie glanced around her childhood home and wondered if she was where she was intended to be all along.

  She saw wide vistas of prairie grass and rolling hills with shadows of clouds casting shapes that danced and swept the landscape. Some of the pain of losing Harrison washed from her body, carried away by the serene beauty of the landscape. He was her past; this was her future. No more men. Only her and Pap and the healing repetition of day-to-day life on a ranch.

  Gazing around the beloved space, Maddie realized, with the clarity and comfort of homecoming, it wasn’t such a bad place to be. She dropped her bag on the worn wood floor of her old room and sat on the bed, the disaster of the previous day washing over her in waves. This was where she belonged. Why in the name of heaven had she ever left?

  ****

  Three Years Later

  Loretta’s was the only place to eat or drink in Snowy Range, Wyoming, and it helped that it belonged to Maddie’s best friend and her husband.

  It just so happened they’d tied the knot at the First Church in Snowy Range on the same day Maddie and Harrison were supposed to be married in Boston. In celebration of two such momentous occasions, Loretta, Stan, and Maddie met every June sixth to celebrate Loretta and Stan’s anniversary and to commemorate Maddie’s escape from a marriage to a man who loved someone else.

  For three years, she’d toasted their wedding and her freedom, but remembering was becoming a bore. She had a good life with Pap. She loved the ranch and was happy. Maybe it was time to forgive and forget. Let bygones be bygones. Move on or move out…and any other cliché she could think of that described a similar sentiment. It all boiled down to being sick of the entire disappointing story, and she was sure Stan and Loretta Mason felt the same.

  The red neon Loretta’s sign flashed through the windshield of her ’63 Chevy truck in rhythm with the dull throb of her headache. She might as well go in and get it over with one last time. The grieving was over and done. Maddie intended, now and forever, to put her bitterness behind her and embrace life once again… Maybe.

  The bells over the restaurant door tinkled as she gave it a healthy s
hove with her shoulder. Happy sound—always put a smile on her face. And that was good, because she was really tired of being depressed and playing the part of the maiden scorned.

  “Loretta?” she called, and headed toward the shiny oak bar. Two cowpokes drank their day away at one end, and the tables were empty of customers. Thank goodness—she wanted privacy for the final act in the ongoing drama of the tragedy of Maddie Mae Lowery. Final curtain. The end. New play. Act one.

  Today she would say goodbye to her past and drink a final toast to its death. Whatever the future held, henceforth she would be free from the hurt and humiliation of the day that should have been the happiest day of her life and ended being the most disastrous.

  “Hey, Loretta! I’m here,” she announced as she stalked to the bar and hopped up on a stool that was in fact a worn leather saddle—Loretta’s idea of interior design. All the bar stools were genuine saddles used and donated by local rodeo stars. Bronze tags etched with the name, date, and event identified each one on the rear.

  “Hey, girl…want the usual?” Her friend appeared, grinned a welcome, and rested her elbows next to Maddie on the glossy wood bar.

  Maddie smiled and teased. “I’m thirsty. Hit me!”

  “Aren’t we in a good mood today?”

  “Yes, ma’am, Miss Loretta—we are definitely in a good mood.”

  “Not that I’m complaining, but what brought this on?”

  “I’ve experienced an epiphany.” Maddie chuckled and swallowed a long drink of her usual beverage.

  “I love it when you talk dirty. Want to let me in on the revelation?” Loretta laughed, joining in on Maddie’s lighthearted mood.

  “Do you remember that motivational phrase ‘today is the first day of the rest of your life?’ ”

  “Absolutely. So?”

  They both repeated at exactly the same time, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life,” and burst into giggles.

  Loretta was the absolute best. Maddie had met her the first day she moved to Snowy Range as a little girl. They’d been inseparable as kids and teenagers. When Maddie’s parents were killed in a rollover accident and she’d come to live with Pap, Loretta had been the glue that kept Maddie together.

  Sharing every mishap, every boyfriend, mean girl, and good time they’d ever had, Loretta knew all about Harrison dumping her on her wedding day, and the reason for her appearance on this particular day—the day of infamy.

  “You’re looking good,” Maddie said, taking in Loretta’s tight jeans and colorful bright top. Her friend was drop-dead gorgeous, with an extrovert’s affinity for all things that glittered. Thankfully, she possessed a sparkling personality to match. Loretta was good people. Everybody in town loved her and her hunky husband, Stan Mason, retired rodeo champion and the original strong, silent type with a heart of pure gold.

  Loretta and Stan were childhood sweethearts much like she and Harrison. Only Stan turned out to be the man of Loretta’s dreams, while Harrison had turned out to be the nightmare of hers. The Masons filled the gap left by losing not only her fiancé but her best friend.

  Today, three years later, she could look back on that day with a better perspective. Maybe enough time had passed, or maybe she was finally growing up. It still hurt, and she was still mad—just not as much.

  “Come to celebrate or commemorate?” Stan asked with a grin, from his spot behind the counter.

  “Celebrate,” she replied, holding her brown bottle high. “From this day forward, I proclaim June sixth as the anniversary of Loretta and Stan Mason only. It’s your day. You don’t need to commemorate with me ever again.”

  “We always want to celebrate with you, Maddie, but I’m glad the mourning period is over. It’s time you put the past to rest. Like the song says, love is the only thing that can break a heart and then mend it again.’ ” Loretta sang loudly and way off pitch, which prompted an eyeroll from her adoring husband. Beautiful? Yes. A singer? No.

  Stan hugged his wife as Maddie snorted her drink through her nose and grabbed a napkin. “Don’t quit your day job, girlfriend. Anyway, that song was way before my time, and please, leave me out of the ‘looking for love’ contingent. I’ve got my hands full taking care of the house for Pap, and the barn. Not to mention cleaning the main house at Snowy Branch.”

  Loretta slapped the bar. “That reminds me—we got a letter from the Branch boys. The oldest brother, Gideon, is headed home. Have you been working your butt off trying to get the place shipshape before he arrives and take care of Pap at the same time?”

  “Yeah. The house doesn’t really get dirty, but I gave it the once-over and put some staples in the pantry. Pap helped me cook a few freezer meals before he quit for the afternoon.”

  “Pap not doing well?” Stan frowned. Everybody in town loved Pap Lowry and was aware he was growing more feeble day by day.

  Biting her lip, Maddie nodded. “He was seventy-eight in January, and slowing down. Age, I guess—I hope. I’ve taken on most of the chores, but we’ll need some help bringing in the hay and corn.”

  “You doing okay? Because Stan and I…”

  “Nah. I can do the daily work, at least for now, but the repairs are another story. I need a good contractor, but it’s expensive. Pap has his Social Security, and I have the boarding income from the horses. With the Branchs’ monthly payment to clean their house and watch over things…”

  “Did you check with the local schools? Maybe this year they’ll need a teacher.”

  “Yeah, I checked—they already have a special ed teacher under contract, and volunteers help take up the slack. Unless something breaks loose, I’d have to look for work in Laramie, and that’s not possible. It’s a long commute, and I don’t want to leave Pap alone all day.”

  “If you need money…” Stan began, before the smell of well-done beef had him running to flip the meat patties before they burned.

  Maddie shook her head. “I don’t need much to get by. I’m a simple country girl, for all that snooty Boston education. But I will need to do something to bring in some cash. I don’t know—I’ve got a few ideas percolating in my head.”

  “If you need a job…”

  “Yeah—like working for you would solve all my problems.” Maddie bumped her friend’s shoulder.

  The bell over the door trilled, interrupting their laughter. All eyes automatically went toward the door.

  Maddie, glancing over her shoulder, saw a newcomer stepping over the threshold. Broad and tall, with a commanding presence, the man smiled and touched his hat in the customary cowboy way. That two-finger salute that could mean anything from hello to goodbye to back-at-cha to kiss-my-whatever, in western-speak.

  Loretta obviously knew him, and she hurried to envelop him in a friendly hug. Stan craned his neck, did a double-take, and lifted a hand before he slid a burger to the side of the grill and joined Loretta. He welcomed the man with a clap on the shoulder and much back-slapping.

  He looked familiar, but Maddie couldn’t recall ever having seen the man before. The Masons evidently knew him well and thought a lot of him.

  She quietly sipped her drink and covertly checked him out. Good-looking guy. Somewhere in his mid-thirties, close-cropped brown hair with a few strands of silver at the temple. His hat hid the color of his eyes, but the rest of him could have graced the cover of a men’s fitness magazine.

  Nice. Very nice.

  He laughed at something Loretta said, and the warm expression on his face made her heart stutter.

  Nice was an understatement.

  Whoa, whoa, and double whoa—what was that? The unfamiliar sensation of her heart turning over in her chest? The dormant organ was alive after all. It had been so long since she’d noticed a man, much less had a reaction to one, she almost didn’t recognize the signs.

  The unfamiliar flutter, the appreciation of the man’s male form, the tingle of heat that teased her in secret places was kind of a relief. Maybe Harrison hadn’t turned her off men after all—o
r maybe she was beyond caring. Either way, Mr. Very Nice kept Loretta and Stan busy, so she hoisted herself over the shiny top of the bar, helped herself to a bottle, and opened the second of her favorite brew.

  The hairs on the back of her neck rose as she sensed someone staring and whipped her head to the left. She caught the two rangy cowboys drinking a late lunch, their gazes fastened on her derriere.

  Sitting behind a formation of dead soldiers, the two elbowed each other and leered. Hoping to ignore them, Maddie quickly sat back in the saddle and turned away. She’d seen the two cowpokes in town from time to time but never made their acquaintance. And she wasn’t interested in doing so today.

  The one closest leaned in her direction and winked. Obviously, they thought they stood a chance at making her acquaintance. The operative word being “thought.” In her opinion, thought processes and those two in the same universe required a stretch of imagination.

  She christened them Cocky and Horny, perfect nicknames, for the boys were undoubtedly both. It wouldn’t take a genius to guess what was on their minds. Judging by the number of empties in front of them, impaired judgment fueled their courage. They elbowed each other and edged a little closer.

  Uh-oh!

  Cocky tried to catch her eye, ogling her cleavage, making a general ass of himself as he sidled closer. His companion shuffled behind to flank her. Maddie stared straight ahead, took another swallow of her drink, and noisily plunked the bottle down on the bar.

  “Whoo-ee, what’ve we got here?” Horny whistled under his breath to his friend, the remark punctuated with a smack of loose, beer-moistened lips. The two snickered, vying for her attention.

  Maddie’s eyes rolled.