Never Say Never Again Read online

  “Loss is nothing new, boy,” she said to her equine friend as she petted his sleek neck. “I’ve lost my parents, the man I loved, a thriving career, friends—an entire life back in Boston.”

  This is so much worse.

  For some reason, the image of Gideon Branch flashed in her brain. He’d had his losses, too. Parents, grandparents, a part of himself. Saving a life and losing a leg in the process had been a sacrifice for family and country, but a loss nonetheless.

  She didn’t know him well, hadn’t spent much time in his company, but what an impression he’d made. Significant enough that he’d tempted her to forget her vow of never again—temporarily at least, and she’d agreed to go out with him. And that promise he’d made the day she spied him cutting wood. Had he meant it?

  Should she even be considering this relationship—date—whatever—in light of all Pap had told her?

  The truth was, she wanted to get to know him. Wanted to throw off the mantle of sadness, if only for a short time, and step into the light. Have a drink, a nice meal, dance—well, maybe not dancing. That could be awkward, considering his injury. But being with him enticed her, excited her, and made her feel safe at the same time. Which she needed most, at this point, was a conundrum.

  He seemed like a nice man. Pap liked him. Trusted him. That in and of itself was quite a recommendation.

  And her? Yeah…

  The first word that popped into her mind when she thought about the former soldier—after “smokin’ hot,” of course—was “real.” Gideon was a real man, solid, trustworthy. Steady. The training and the job that had honed him into a disciplined warrior had given him an undeniable air of confidence and reliability. Gideon was dependable—the kind of guy who stuck, who stayed. She sensed he knew what he wanted in life, a quality she valued.

  She also liked his innate honesty, that he had the reputation of being a good man. Loretta liked him; Stan liked him. Evidently the whole town respected him. Everywhere he went, people waved, spoke, called out a greeting.

  Trustworthy. Hardworking. Reliable. Capable. Dependable. Words that opened a girl’s eyes and made him a man hard to ignore. A man’s man, ready to build something solid in his life and on the land.

  Maybe it was time to put aside her childishness, grow up, and look at life from an entirely new perspective. Did she really want to live the remainder of her life alone? Thinking of her reaction to Gideon at Loretta’s the other day and again at the ranch on Wednesday…wow. That wasn’t the response of a woman who was over and done with men—quite the contrary. Thinking about their little interlude made her pulse race and her lady parts grow warm. Her mouth might say “no”—her body screamed “hell, yes.” Yeah, there was a definite attraction there.

  Approaching the shallows near the river’s edge, Maddie pulled the saddle and blanket from King’s back and tethered him to a low hanging branch. The blanket was slightly damp, but she spread it on the sandy bank near the water and lay back against the saddle.

  “It’s time for me to grow up, King,” she said to her horse. “Harrison was my past. He’s over. Pap and Emma’s Camp will take a lot of time and care. If Gideon was meant to be a part of my life—well, I guess what will be, will be.”

  Staring at the fading light, Maddie lifted her face to the setting sun. Shades of blue sky turning to gray, shot with orange and pink, the sun a bright ball of yellow heating the earth with rays of warmth. So beautiful. Even the faint outline of the moon was visible in the waning sky.

  Pap was going to die. Maybe soon. She would need the strength of this strong and demanding land to get through the coming days.

  Tears gathered in her eyes and trailed down her hot cheeks to puddle in her ears, and she let them. The tears gave way to sobs; long, wracking wails of agony and dread spewed into the silence. A few birds scattered from the hardwoods and pines, chattering their displeasure at the interruption in the late afternoon.

  But Maddie cried on and on, pouring out her heart to nature, spilling her anguish at losing the last of her family. At the inevitable loneliness and fear of the unknown. At the overwhelming, debilitating sadness crushing her heart.

  She grieved until dusk ate the sky and the sounds of nocturnal creatures intruded on her grief. Until there were no more tears left in her bone-dry body. Until she was spent.

  The sound of a horse’s hooves interrupted her hiccoughs. Glancing at King, Maddie saw his neck arch, ears pricked forward. Alarmed, she sat up. A rider was coming.

  The figure of a man mounted on a black stallion rode toward her and stopped beneath the whispering canopy of trees. The outline of his body familiar, she recognized his deep, baritone voice when he spoke.

  “You okay, Maddie Mae?” he asked, just loud enough for her to hear.

  Gideon.

  His velvet voice brushed over her skin as he dismounted and squatted down beside her. When she couldn’t answer, he unfolded his big body on a corner of the blanket, the prosthetic boot straight out, almost touching her leg.

  Resting on one elbow, he gazed at her tear-streaked face while his palm smoothed her hair, petting her like a distressed animal he wanted to gentle. It was the sweetest thing he could have done, and she leaned into his touch.

  “How did you know I was here? Did Pap call you?” she whispered, as if anyone other than hoot owls and field mice could hear.

  Gideon nodded, still stroking her head. “Yep. He was worried about you.”

  “You knew he was sick, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah, he wrote me when I got stateside. That was one reason I came home,” he replied.

  “One reason?”

  “I’d always planned on coming back, Maddie. The boys and I want to get the ranch going again. We’ve got plans. But hearing from Pap upped the timeline a few weeks. He and Grandpa were like brothers—if your Pap needed to see me, there was no way I’d dally in D.C. My rehab was completed. I was just wasting time back there.”

  “What was the other reason?” she asked, breathing in his scent.

  He hesitated, then captured her gaze.

  “You.”

  His reply didn’t startle her, didn’t surprise her. For some inexplicable reason, she realized he spoke the truth. It made no sense; they barely knew each other. But there was something about this man that spoke to her heart. Like a thread pulling two separate pieces of fabric together and sewing them into one.

  “Pap said you’d need me,” he explained. “He was there for me and Eli and Zack when Grandpa died. If it wasn’t for him, we’d have made a mess of things. No way would I ignore his request.”

  Maddie let out a sigh, rolled on her back, and stared at the sky. The stars dotted the inky darkness like zillions of sparkling lights. The white brushstroke of the Milky Way painted on the canvas of the firmament took her breath away, so beautiful it was ridiculous not to believe a creator had formed it and placed it in the universe. A canopy of light, earth’s connection to the rest of creation.

  “What did you know?” she asked.

  Gideon lay next to her. Sliding his hands beneath his head, he stared with her at the darkening sky.

  “That Pap needed me or he wouldn’t have asked me to come. That you were here, waiting, and you might need me, too. But it was more than that. Call it precognition or intuition, when I heard from Pap, I had this feeling that a woman who would be important to me was here in Snowy Range. That she would make a difference in my life. When Pap said come, I just knew.”

  “I’m damaged goods, Gideon. I swore never to fall in love or marry.”

  “Everyone’s damaged in some way or another. Pap told me about your ‘never again’ vow.” He shrugged. “You were hurt. You decided to protect yourself from being hurt again. I think you’ve learned that’s not possible. See that star up there? The big bright one at the edge of the Big Dipper? Grandpa had all us boys believing that if you want something really bad, and wished upon that star, it’s sure to come true.”

  In spite of her sadness, Maddi
e smiled. “I wouldn’t have taken you for a wish-upon-a-star kind of man.”

  “Me either. Things I’ve seen, things I’ve done, they pretty much wiped wishes and happily-ever-afters out of my brain. But fate, a divine plan, something that’s meant to be, came back in a rush that day at Loretta’s when a certain lady leaned over the bar and grabbed herself a root beer. She grabbed my heart, as well.”

  “What are you saying, Gideon?” Maddie asked, scarcely daring to breathe.

  “You know what your grandfather wants most for you? Love,” he said emphatically. “The love of a good man, a partner to share the joys and sorrows of life, a house full of children.”

  “That sounds just like Pap.” Her face softened as she contemplated Gideon’s reply.

  “I think that’s what you want, too.”

  “Me?” Her voice careened an octave higher. “Whoa! This is all moving way too fast. You’re implying that you and I… I mean, that you want…”

  One end of his mouth disappeared in the wicked dimple of his smooth cheek. “Well?”

  Maddie reached over and hit him in the gut with her fist. Gideon overreacted with a loud “Oof!” They both laughed. She was grateful for the moment of levity and took advantage of it.

  Gideon turned on his side, facing her. Winding a wavy strand of her hair around his forefinger, he tugged. “What do you want, Maddie Mae?”

  She cut her eyes down and to the side and shrugged. “I’m not sure I know.”

  “I think you do. I think you’re just afraid to give up the protective anger you’ve held on to for the last few years and give love a second chance.”

  He’s right, and he has me scared to the soles of my boots.

  When she didn’t answer, his warm body covered hers. Their eyes met and held. Her breath coming in faint spurts, Maddie wanted to push him off and pretend she was offended, but her body wouldn’t let her. She put forth a pitiful effort. “You men think sex is the answer to everything.”

  “And women don’t?” His words teased, his expression not so much. “This isn’t sex, Maddie. This is a man and a woman with an undeniable attraction to each other getting to know one another.”

  Her mind might not want to agree, but her body certainly did. Beneath the thin cotton of her T-shirt, her nipples puckered. He was all hard angles, and she was soft and yielding. The only man who had ever been this close to her, physically or emotionally, was Harrison, and he hadn’t turned her on as much as Gideon. Everything about him challenged her perceptions of intimacy. It had always been about Harrison, and now in the space of a week, another man had erased his memory with the force of his presence.

  “Sex is a powerful experience,” he said.

  She must have frowned. He gently traced his forefinger along her brow, smoothing the furrowed skin.

  “Get him out of your mind,” Gideon ordered softly. “Whatever happened, however it happened, is in the past. This is now—you and me. I am not Harrison McCall.”

  The heat of him, the nearness of him, his strength and kindness, consumed her. With Gideon—his voice, his touch, his presence—her body relaxed with a soft sigh. And he filled the space of her world.

  As light as the brush of a butterfly’s wings, his lips rubbed one side of her mouth and then the other. Testing, tasting, tempting.

  “Do you know how beautiful you are, Maddie?” he asked, his gaze bathing her face, hairline to cheek, cheek to jaw, down her throat to the hollow where her pulse ran wild beneath her heating skin.

  “More beautiful than any woman I’ve ever seen. That glorious hair, those mesmerizing eyes, the sound of your laugh as you put those two yahoos into place at Loretta’s. I dropped in to have a burger, and you were there, bent over that bar, making yourself at home. I knew, right then at that moment, that I had to have you. That somehow, some way, I would make you mine.”

  “Gideon, don’t…”

  “Don’t what? Don’t stop? Don’t go on? What, Maddie Mae? Tell me.”

  “I can’t,” she whispered.

  He didn’t mind very well, this big cowboy who demolished her defenses and tore down the walls she’d so carefully erected around her heart. What was it Pap said about his first meeting with Grandma Emma? That he’d taken one look at her and decided to make her his wife. Could it really happen that quickly?

  No time to ponder the answer to her question. The next second her mind shut down, and all she could do was feel.

  His kiss began slow and deep, making her heart race, blotting her doubts. She was conscious only of him and the strength of his arms as they curled around her and hemmed her in. Gently, he drew her against his chest, so hard and warm she could feel the heavy beat of his heart through the cotton of his shirt.

  She lay there while he played with her mouth, and enjoyed the sensation of his lips, the taste of his tongue tangling with hers. Plunging deep and pulling back, exploring, testing, learning. She smiled against his mouth, and he smiled back. There was no hurry.

  Yes, she did like Gideon Branch—very much. An unfamiliar sound she didn’t recognize escaped her throat. A woman’s sound, caught in the throes of passion. Of their own volition, her hips danced against his, and he thrust his knee between her legs to press against her need.

  She and Harrison had never gone this far. When he turned from her, she’d felt ashamed because she seemed to be the one who wanted to make love to him, and not the other way around. Now she understood why he hadn’t responded. There was no question of Gideon’s response. The thick bulge under his zipper pressed into her core, and her leg wrapped around his waist, putting the friction exactly where she needed it.

  Of their own volition, and much to her surprise, Maddie’s hands slid up his muscled chest and around the strong column of his neck to bury themselves in his hair. Like the rest of him, his scalp was hot and damp, and she raked her fingertips to the crown of his head and back, tugging him closer, feasting on his firm, hot mouth.

  Something between a growl and a groan escaped his throat, and he slanted his head to take her mouth more deeply. Maddie welcomed him, the tip of her tongue lightly touching his.

  Hers—tentative, curious, shy.

  His—hot and rough, commanding, as he answered and devoured.

  Sounds of her arousal punched the air as, kiss after kiss, he drove everything but awareness of him from her mind. Hungry. Urgent. Until the pressure of his mouth grew painful, and the ache for something unknown, for something more, bolted straight to her core.

  Gliding his hand under her shirt, his hot palm nestled at the heavy curve of her breast. Slowly cupping her fullness, his thumb traced the darker flesh surrounding her nipple until he finally rolled her pebbled bud between his thumb and finger. Maddie squirmed impatiently under his caress while Gideon buried his nose in the arc of her neck and shoulder and sucked, marking her with his teeth and mouth.

  “You like this?” he whispered, but she was too far gone to answer and only whimpered.

  Maddie hissed at the sensation, sucking in a deep, sharp breath. Impatiently, he gathered the hem of her shirt in his hand and lifted it up and over her head, tossing it to the side. His eyes widened at the sight of her as she lay exposed to his gaze.

  “I knew you would look like this. Incredibly beautiful. Ripe and luscious. So much woman,” he breathed as his eyes caressed her.

  His words sent shivers tripping up her spine. She wanted more from him—more of him.

  “You’re not playing fair—you still have on your shirt.” Her hands fumbled at the snaps until he grabbed the placket and pulled. Snap! Snap! Snap! One by one they opened until the ridges and valleys of his chest rewarded her eyes as his chest heaved hot air from his lungs.

  He is such a beautiful man.

  Starlight outlined the bulge and plane of his powerful muscles, as under her watchful gaze he revealed sleek, heavy shoulders and a washboard stomach. Running her hands over his chest, Maddie marveled at how hard he felt under his smooth, sleek skin.

  “My Go
d,” she exclaimed softly, “you’re so beautiful.”

  He smiled, and the light in his eyes blinded her. “Men aren’t beautiful,” he growled.

  “Tell that to De Vinci or Michelangelo.”

  Gideon let her play for a while. He stroked her skin while she admiringly explored vein, muscle, and bone. She and Harrison had touched and kissed, of course, but never with this degree of intensity or passion. He had never made her burn, never made her want to throw everything to the wind and drown in a pit of pure sensual pleasure.

  Theirs had been a different kind of love—she could see it now. A comfortable love—a friendly love. An incomplete love.

  Not like this—not at all. No, Gideon ignited desires deep within her that she’d never known existed.

  With one hard kiss, Gideon released her and stood, quickly removing his boots and socks, peering down at her like some ancient god, his face hard and intent. His hand went to the buckle of his belt, and he cocked a teasing grin as he unbuckled, sliding the leather tip slowly from the loops while she enjoyed the view.

  “If you want to stop, now is the time to tell me,” he said hoarsely.

  Softly, clearly, she answered, “I don’t want to stop.”

  Bending to her mouth for a swift taste, his hand went to the waistband of his jeans and unsnapped them with a small pop. Slowly, deliberately, he drew the zipper down, and without hesitation, pushed his jeans down with his underwear. And then… He was naked.

  And she stared.

  Magnificent.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Maddie’s heart stopped, then pounded, blood rushing to her head and the beat echoing in her ears as she took in the full glory of the man before her. Long, thick, mouthwatering. Undeniably a phallic wonder. Stunned, she couldn’t take her eyes off his pulsing manhood.

  In this day and age, claiming ignorance about the act of intercourse was impossible. Sex was the common denominator by which everything was bought and sold. We needed this product because it would make us look or feel sexy. We needed that product because it would enhance our sexual pleasure. Sex was everywhere. But as Maddie took her first up-close-and-personal look at the male sex organ in the flesh, all she could think of was the question of how she could take that enormous appendage into her body and perform the most intimate act between a man and woman.